Try to Follow the Binary Code, the zeros repeat, but the one's never told.

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 04:47:31 GMT

I now realize that my previous post makes me feel a bit like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. Altough I havn't asked enough questions quite yet? In this crazy mixed up world, are we becoming more like men or mice?...or are the mice taking over?

There. That's more like it.

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 04:38:06 GMT

There are times in life when you hear conversations between your fellow human beings that bring thoughts such as "WTF!?!?" and "What is the world coming to?" This was one of those times.
Setting: Breakroom at work (Everett QFC)
Ronney: "So...what movie should we go see after work? Accepted or Beerfest?"
Sara: "I don't know they both look so good!" *this was not a sarcastic remark*
Ronney: "Stephanie said that there are tits in Beerfest..."
Sara: "Alright, we'll go see that then."

I took this time to exclude myself from the awkwardness of perhaps receiving an invitation. However, it was out of the frying pan and into the fire for me when Ronney later asked if I'd like to attend this fiasco of juvenile debauchery, of course, he did ask this in fewer words than I've described.
Anyways...this is my story...this is my generation...and this is a sure sign of a drop in the quality of my social circle as of late.

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 07:19:48 GMT

So...I don't know if I have a small case of insomnia right now...or if I just don't want to sleep. I'm pretty sure that it's the second of those two. I could be related to the fact that I only spent 4 hours of actually doing anything today and that was because I was at work...thus...there's been nothing to take any energy whatsoever. I dunno...maybe I'll go running right now...except I don't know how I feel about running in Everett at midnight.
If I was witty I'd write a screenplay about this.
If I was athletic this would probably push me toward some amazing goal.
If I had no sense I'd find a friend in the bottom of a bottle (but alas I do have sense)
If I had a fast car I'd go fast enough to outrun this.
If I had more creativity I'd make this a song...but the words/chords/melody/harmony escapes me.
If I was stronger I'd shove it away.
If I was a genius I'd discover the secret to teleportation.
If I had a genie I'd wish myself away.
If I had money I'd buy a plane ticket.
If I had even more money I'd buy the plane.
If I had a sense of adventure I'd discover the borders of the worlds second bermuda triangle.
If I had even one of the traits above...this post might not exist.
If I could give up anything/everything I have for one thing...I wouldn't be here.
This most certainly is an exaggerated post...but like I said above...I don't want to sleep...and I can't run in an attempt to exaust myself.

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 03:23:09 GMT

I'm already so excited to go down to Oregon, and then go again. It's not exactly when I'd like it to be...but hey...I'll take it. And it will be a good time. I'm also really excited for Reidar's cd to come out. The new mixes on myspace sound great...(oh yeah...click and I are on it...haha...if you can really call that being on it...we're clapping and yelling on it)...anyways...i don't really have anymore to say..except i don't have to goto school as early tomorrow...yay.

Leaving soon...

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 03:58:03 GMT

yeah...so I'm leaving for california tomorrow...that'll be...cool...i guess. I dunno...I'm going to be gone for any recording that might happen over the next two weeks...but I don't mind too much...the rest of the band can get alot done and then I'll come back and lay down my tracks. I'm really excited cuz' i found out what song it was the ben folds and rufus wainwright played together at the show. It's a Wham! cover called careless whispers. I'm in the process of putting the finishing touches on figuring out how to play it. I've been learning some new Ben folds lately and that's been kindof fun...most of it by ear...it's boring trying to search for transcriptions...probably not as boring as reading about this is though...so i'll stop. So...I'll have access to a computer for some of the time in california...so...yeah...not that has much to do with much...I'll go now.
Ben

Secret to invisiblity

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 07:34:24 GMT

How to dissapear completely and never be found...(Radiohead)

That there
That’s not me
I go
Where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the liffey
I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here

In a little while
I’ll be gone
The moment’s already passed
Yeah it’s gone
And I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here

Chorus=words of comfert/wisdom from M. Stipe of R.E.M. to radiohead's Thom Yorke.

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:12:44 GMT

Hey Everyone, Ok so Leo and Orion made it into the battle of the bands at Studio 7. Everyone needs to come..and if you do...buy tickets from us (the band)...it's two dollars cheaper through us($8)and it'll show them that there are people who want to see us play which will help us get future shows. So yeah...Contact myself or click or lobe...etc...if you want to go. And if you don't get them through us come anyways...cuz' we want you all there. See ya.
Ben

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 08:36:04 GMT

yeah...this is annoying. I hate things being bittersweet...particularly when they're more bitter than sweet in the short term. I'm just guessing/hoping/trusting that they will be more sweet in the long run. I don't even have a clue why I am up right now....

Tue, 31 May 2005 21:53:12 GMT

Coldplay- Till Kingdom Come = my favorite and most relevant song.

Still my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time, my time has come
Let me in, unlock the door
I've never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come

I put your head inside my hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you, I've waited all these years

For you I'd wait 'til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I heard you laugh, I heard you sing
And I wouldn't change a single thing

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know what I've become

For you I'd wait 'til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

eh...

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 05:01:54 GMT

Hello all, it's ben quite some time...and i don't really know why i'm posting at all cause the only reason i have an LJ is to read other people's and all that fun stuff.

Practice was great today. It'd been a long time since we'd played and we went over a new song and rewrote another (Everyone should come to the show on the 6th so you can hear the new stuff...and old..cuz' it's good too).

Everyone should also download/buy/pirate a cd by the band Aqualung...it's freakin' amazing.

Taking down took WAY...too long today. It didn't badly...it just was annoying cuz' I barely got to Sarah's before she left for work...it was good to see her...but it was sad that it wasn't longer.

So yeah..now i'm really bored...and i want to write music but nothing comes (as it's been forever and ever amen)..which makes it great to have a friend such as click. Cuz' he's an amazing writer and that gives me the super fun task of building onto the foundation of the song that he brings...and him and I need to get together soon for a writing session and get more new material.

Another cool thing about practice was the jesse came today and played with us. Sounds like hi might start playing with us more often. Yet another reason to come see us on May 6th...jesse might be playing with us...and that sounds brilliant.

So yeah...this is why i don't ever post...cuz' this does nothing for me...i know alot of people try and "vent" through LJ but it doesn't work for me...i just want to be somewhere else with someone else...or here with someone else...i just want some in particular to be here right now. But oh well...no...not oh well...it's driving me up the wall..so i'm going to shut up now because most people have probably stopped reading by now.

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 10:03:59 GMT

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

need..sleep..

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 23:31:56 GMT

yeah...so...i haven't posted in forever...but i feel like it right now. Yeah so...today's kindof annoying...i think that i'm just really low on sleep. All day long...things that i would normally laugh along with have been getting to me and that's kindof annoying beyond all reason...more the fact that they annoy me this much and shouldn't. And i know that we're going to be trying to go agaisn't most odds but what the heck... I know that it's likely and almost inevitable that she gets swept off her feet but that doesn't mean i can't hear about it as little as possible...agh...anyways...yeah...we're having really good chicken burritos that my grandma sent home with me and i'm really really hungry right now...so i'm going to go eat that and then fudge...(ps. i believe that this is my first whiney typical LJ post ever...and i don't plan on doing anymore of that sort because they annoy the piss out of me...anyways...thanx for your time all who read this...and this is actaully really awkward to right some of this because i know that a certain person will be reading this who is to say the least involved in all of this.)

Ben

SHOW!

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 04:37:52 GMT

Hey everyone...

Leo and Orion is playing a show
Friday night.
doors open at 6:30.
show is free.
it's at Calvary Christian Assembly
6801 Roosevelt Way NE Seattle, WA 98115

So you all should come to it...yeah...

help...

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 03:52:25 GMT

Hey everyone...Yeah.,..it's been a while since i've posted..
Anyone who reads this...I could really use some prayer right now...so yeah..any would be appreciated. I'm not going to go into why..except that i've made some mistakes lately...and they are very similar to mistakes i've made in the past...that I have regreted for over half a year now...and somehow I managed to screw myself over with them again. I've put in jepardy...one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me...one of the things that drives me to do better in music/chivelry/and life...and i have a feeling and a hope that it will be ok...but It'll take work...and i need prayer. Not cuz' i'm scared of giving up...but i'm scared of making it worse...and just..I'm not even entirely sure what..
So if you read this...please pray for me...

Sat, 08 May 2004 05:58:15 GMT

So yeah...Um..yeah
Just got back from worshipt night and that was sooo freakin' tizzite. Hope did a great job. Matt and Andy got a bunch of money from the offering for them going to Africa and that was awesome cuz' God allowed it so that over a thousand dollars came from almost all youth. And um..Scott did an awesome painting. So yeah...that was all really rad...and then driving back was fun too cuz' i just got my permit on tuesday.

Death Cab for Cutie was soooooooooo Good. but if you want to see any specifics on it...check out haley's post about it cuz' it wrapps it up great.

And not too much else to talk about so...bye

Thu, 06 May 2004 21:25:28 GMT

You had to piss on our parade,
You had to shred our big day
you had to ruin for all concerned,
A drunken punch-up at a wedding.

Radiohead-Punch-up at a wedding.

So cool...

Wed, 05 May 2004 03:16:04 GMT

BASICS...
(1) name- Ben DuBose
(2) piercings- none
(3) tattoos- none
(4) height- 5'5"
(5) shoe size- don't remember...9ish
(6) hair color- blonde
(7) length- i wish longer
(8) siblings- sister

LAST...
(9) movie you rented- can't remember
(10) movie you bought- dunno
(11) song you listened to-a wolf at the door-radiohead
(12) song that was stuck in your head- a wolf at the door
(13) CD you bought- umm...i burn most...
(14) CD you listened to- hail to the theif-radiohead
(15) person you've called- click
(16) person that's called you - click
(17) TV show you've watched- seinfeld
(18) person you were thinking of-sarah
DO...
(19) you have a bf or gf- yes
(20) you have a crush on someone- yes
(21) you wish you could live somewhere else- I LOVE IT HERE!!...maybe a different neighborhood...but not more than 20 mins away
(22) you think about suicide- never
(23) you believe in online dating- retarted
(24) others find you attractive- i think so
(25) you want more piercings- not really
(26) you drink- no
(27) you do drugs-no
(28) you smoke- no
(29) you like cleaning-sometimes...if my room looks awful i like the results of cleaning
(30) you like roller coasters- yeah they are awesome
(31) you write in cursive or print- print
(32) you carry a donor card- no

FOR OR AGAINST...
(33) long distance relationships- not starting one...but if an existing one turns into lonh distance..go for it
(34) using someone- against
(35) killing people-as long as it's not murder
(36) teenage smoking- against
(37) premarital sex- totally against
(38) driving drunk- awful
(39) gay/lesbian relationship-NEVER!!!!!!!!!!
(40) soap operas- funny

FAVORITE...
(41) food- all
(42) song- too many
(43) thing to do- to many...but music...hanging out...and driving are fun
(44) thing to talk about- alot
(45) sport- football
(46) drink- coke
(47) clothes- nice
(48) movie- holy grail
(49) band/singer- radiohead, coldplay, many others
(50) holiday- christmas, v-day

HAVE YOU...
(51) ever cried over a guy/girl- yes…
(52) ever lied to someone- yeah
(53) ever been in a fist fight- nah
(54) ever been arrested- no

NUMBER...
(55) of times I have been in love? Jesus...and another.

(57) of hearts I have broken? i dunno
(61) of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life friends? a few
(62) of people I consider my enemies? umm...i dunno
(63) of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? one that i know of

FAVORITE...
(66) Disney movie- i dunno
(67) scent- um...new acoustic guitar smell..(yeah i'm odd)..and other scents
(68) word (s)- i dunno
(69) nickname- short kid...
(70) eye color- blue
(71) flower- roses
(72) piercing- for girls...just ears...for guyz...lip or eyebrow

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
(73) pretty- um..sure why not
(74) funny- sometimes
(75) hot- i'm told
(76) friendly- i try
(77) amusing- yeah...in a "look at the idiot"kindof way
(78) ugly- no
(79) loveable- yeah
(80) pessimistic-not really
(81) optimistic- I try
(82) caring- Yes
(83) sweet- yeah
(84) asshole- i probably come across to some people as that...but i try not too

RANDOM...
(85) Spell your first name back wards- neb
(86) The story behind your user name- my band name
(87) Are you straight? YEAH!!
(88) Where do you live? WA
(89) 4 words that sum you up- I am a sinner

DESCRIBE YOUR...
(90) Wallet- brown
(91) Hairbrush- none
(92) Toothbrush- orange
(93) Jewelry worn daily- none right now
(94) Shoes- black
(95) Handbag- none
(96) Favorite band shirt- none
(97) CD in stereo right now- hail to the theif
(98) What you are wearing now- clothing
(99) Hair-ok
(100) Make up- none

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)-
(101) In my mouth- nothing
(102) In my head- hmmm…
(103) Wishing- i didn't have HW
(104) After this- more hw
(105) Talking to- saia
(106) Eating- nothing
(107) Fetish- uhhhhh
(108) Person you wish you were with- sarah or click..or both
(109) Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month- the end of it
(110) Something that you are deathly afraid of- bad music
(111) Do you like candles- yeah
(112) Do you like the taste of blood- uhhhh that is gross
(113) Do you believe in love-YEah
(114) Do you believe in soul mates- yes
(115) Do you believe in love at first sight- nope
(116) Do you believe in God- YES!

Tue, 09 Mar 2004 06:19:58 GMT

oh man...bible study today was soo awesome. Nothing to speciall, but it was soo cool that we picked a random passage and then analized it and we still got soooo much out of it. I LOVE THE BIBLE!!! GOD IS SOOOO FREAKIN' AWESOME. he is working in my life and in my friend's lives sooo much right now...so yeah...if i keep on talking i'll end up just repeating myself alot. But yeah...and one more thing...I'm doing my talk at youth this wednesday...so it'd be helpfull if you guyz could pray for me that it won't be me talking...that it will be God speaking through...I'm not nervous really...but I don't want it to be me speaking...God is the only one worth listening to...So yeah...thanx

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 06:54:30 GMT

Marriage is sacred.

Fri, 05 Mar 2004 22:09:53 GMT

[my name is]: Ben

[in the morning I am]: tired
[all I need is]: jesus

[love is]: awesome
[I'm afraid of]: alot
[I dream about]: many weird things...people..

-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or Pepsi]: coke
[flowers or candy]: candy...
[tall or short]: short

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[dream boy/girlfriend]: the one i have
[do you believe in love at first sight?]: NO!!!

-W H O-
[makes you laugh the most?]: click, saia, sarah,
[makes you smile]: everyone
[has a crush on you?]: why would they?..
[do you find easiest to talk to]: sarah, click, saia

-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?]: not really
[save aol/aim conversations]: sometimes
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: nope...thats gross

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: saia
[hugged]: sarah
[you instant messaged]: sarah and linnea
[you laughed with]: saia

-D O .Y O U-
[color your hair]: sometimes. i havent in a while though..

[ever get off the computer]: yes...

[habla espanol]: not much...

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[smoke cigarettes]: NO

[could you live without the computer?]: for a while...
[what's your favourite food?]: chinese

[what's your favourite fruit?]: hmm...pears, peaches, grappefruit.
[drink alcohol?]: nope

[like watching sunrises or sunset]: sunset the most

-N U M B E R-
[of times I have had my heart broken?]: a few..kindof sortof
[of hearts I have broken?]: i dunno
[of boys I have kissed?]: none
[of girls I have kissed?]: 1
[of continents I have lived in?]: one
[of drugs taken illegally?]: 0
[of tight friends?]: a few
[of cd's that i own?]: about 90
[of scars on my body?]: umm..iu dunno...
[of things in my past that i regret?]: too many

I KNOW: music pretty well..but not enough...never enough
I HAVE: alot of instruments
I WISH: was not so lazy
I HATE: hw
I MISS: playing live...but soon i will
I HEAR: big bad voodoo daddy

I SEARCH: God's will
I REGRET: alot
I LOVE: Jesus, my friends, my girlfriend, my family, music
I ACHE: ....

I CARE: about the people i love
I ALWAYS: laugh
I AM NOT: perfect
I DANCE: NOT

SING: along with just about anything
I CRY:when i'm sad...lol
I WRITE: in my journal and music
I WIN: at...something...i dunno...there must be somehting
I CONFUSE: everyone
I LISTEN: to music and try to hear God
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: my room, on the phone, at the computer, the beach, church

THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR
[things you can't live without]: Jesus, people...music
[Something important on your desk]: nothing
[When you sleep you wear]: boxers and sometimes a t-shirt
[If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy]: guitar center and everthing in it

FRIENDS:
[Three traits you look for in a friend]: funny, Christian, nice, trustworthy
[A friend who you can tell anything]: click or sarah or saia
[A friend you can go to for advice]: click, sarah, saia
[The friend who uses most of your energy]: um...i dunno
[Your 3 best qualities]:i dunno...funny (i think)...music...um...trustworthy..???
[Your 3 worst qualities]: lazy with school, play music non stop at home (that's just bad to my parents)..and i'm pretty closedminded..which is both good and bad
[A compliment that makes you blush]: um...i dunno

[The greatest physical pain you ever endured]: probably...braking my collarbone the first time

[The greatest emotional pain you ever endured]: alot...

[Your best physical feature]: that's not something you decide about yourself...
[Who/What makes you happy]: Jesus, music, friends,girlfriend
[Who/what makes you sad]: sin, liberals,
EMOTIONS
[Emotion you hide most]: sadness
[When you are angry you need]: God, bible, and my guitar
[When you are sentimental you need]: God, bible, and my guitar
[When you are in love you need]: God, bible, my guitar and a piano...and the one i'm in love with..

MEMORIES
[A memory that makes you laugh]: "Thats not a dinosaur! thats a freaking BIRD!"
[A memory that makes you happy]: bible camp, bridgeport, creation

LOVE
[Something someone can say or do that you find extremely attractive]: um...i dunno...alot of things
[something someone can say or do that you find unattractive]: be self centered
[Two things appealing about people]: sense of humor, not an idiot
[What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship]: lots of things...with many different people...and of course GOD

Free writting has become my favorite pass time...

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 06:31:27 GMT

Why are you still here, why do you care, I always expect to look and you won't be there.
But for some reason you stay with me in this place, only by the touch of your grace.
What have I done that would earn your love, this can't be from me, it's sent from above.
All I've done is things to lose trust, but you put that in the back and leave it to rust. You see past the dirt that i've built up, instead found the whole and filled it up.
What can I say that you'd understand, the love and the grace I've found in your hand. Thank you for staying, when you have no reason, and I pray that you'll stay through each and every season.

To the one...you know who you are if you read this...

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 06:20:24 GMT

If not for your words, our fears might be true. I'd trust my own worries more than you. But because you've told me i know it is so, that we'll be together wherever you go. Because I now know, that you feel what I feel, I know we'll both hold to this un-written deal. Because of all this, I know it to be true. The importance of the words, "I love you."

To whom it may concern

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 06:14:17 GMT

Give up pride, forget the past.
Tomorrow's short, make it last.
Whipe the tears from you eyes.
Take off the mask.
Take off the disguise.
Forget the bad things that you've done.
Remember the sight of the morning sun.
You've made mistakes, so do we all.
But we don't need to stay down after we fall.
Give up pride, forget the past.
Before love's gone, and tomorrow's past.

So Good...

Mon, 23 Feb 2004 04:21:52 GMT

WOW>>WOW>>>WOW
This weekend has been one of the best weekends i've had in a long time...and that's saying alot, cuz' i haven't had any bad times for a long time. So yeah...i just got back from the youth group ski retreat. And that was FREAKING GREAT. I have 3 main things that made it soo good

1. GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS GREAT, GOD IS AWESOME! He is doing sooo much in my life and the lives of my close friends, it's great. The holy spirt spoke through andy B so much. We can know anythingw we want about anything in the bible, especially the crusifiction, but unless it's real to us, it's just words. And I can relate to andy when he said, that it bothered him that with it all the knowlege of what Christ went through for him, that that knowlege didn't cause him pain and greif. And that has been made more real to me this weekend, but we forget, so God gives us many things as reminders. There's alot more to say, but it's going to be in my talk at yg, so all of you who are reading this goto yg i'm pretty sure..so you'll hear all that then..the 2nd week of march i think.

2. Another thing that makes me so happy is Sarah. She is such a blessing to my life, and i couldn't put how much in any note, letter, music, poem, or anything else. So i won't even try. lol. But this weekend things happened that made me realize once again how much she means to me. So yeah...this is allready really long so i'll quit now, cuz' you probably don't care that much..hehe.

3. I feel sooo blessed to have the friends that i do. All of you are soo great, you may not know it., but God is using you to speak to me all the time. And it is great to have people that i can open up to,, and that can open up to me. Bless you all so much, because of how much of a blessing you are to me, GOD LOVES YOU!!!!!

So yeah...i'm done rambling now...ttyl
Ben

New free writing

Fri, 20 Feb 2004 06:28:07 GMT

Sacred lines are crossed, the bonds broken in the name of self help.
As words cause tears, it brings the fears of choosing one's words over another.

Reach in the jar
You've dug too far
Alterier motives form
Broken friendships sworn
Push me away
Spread night on the day
It started right
Blocked out of sight
And she's exausted at night...

Elaborate plans to block me out, to make no doubt in her mind that I'm not to be trusted you're mint...but I'm busted
I'm trying to follow the binary code, the zeros repeat but the ones never told.
I'm the one never told...

Shout out your feelings. But don't let me hear,
I'm standing right here.